says the sturgeon general...

This broke my heart.

Now how am I gonna pay back my blood debts to the Romanian mafia?

Actually, this is one of those stories that, on the face of it, seems totally normal until you realize that the presence of human beings has caused the world to go totally batshit insane.

I'm not a militant vegetarian. Sometimes I remind Camille that various things on her plate have "a mommy who misses them," but that's just to irritate her. I do subscribe to an eating philosophy that I believe is both ethical and environmentally sustainable, but realistically our bodies are designed to eat meat and I usually don't feel compelled to get in peoples' business.

However, I think the casual consumer needs to be reminded of something:

Commercial caviar production normally involves
stunning the fish (usually with a club to the head)
and extracting the ovaries. (from Wikipedia)

That is flat-out disgusting. This industry, and now this looming environmental hazard, only exist because people like to scoop revolting, briny ovaries out of living fish, put them on toast points, and eat them.

Despite the cultural cache, objectively speaking I have trouble imagining anything less sophisticated.

Maybe you could throw rocks at a squirrel until you knocked it out of a tree, then eat whatever you find in its cheeks.

Anyway, this post is intended as a public service message to caviar eaters:

Attention: THERE IS PLENTY OF FOOD ON LAND.